Doctors are part of our caregiving team

by Thais Abernethy
Floyd Press columnist
Caregivers Corner

I have a Google Alert on my computer under words of caregiver, caregiving, etc. and it’s fascinating to see the amount of articles that come up for me to read. If you have a computer at home or have access to one, check it out. The internet is just a wealth of information. So, I came across this article from the American Heart Association that I would like to share with you.

As a caregiver, you have to be realistic about what can and cannot be controlled. You can’t control the fact that your loved one has a chronic or progressive disease or the impact of that disease. But you CAN control how you respond to the challenges. The American Heart Association provides the following steps to help you realistically frame up your situation.

The first step is taking ownership of your caregiver role and admitting that it might be a long-term job. This acknowledgement allows you to plan and seek help. The National Family Caregivers Association has reported that this simple shift in attitude can have a profound impact on your situation. By accepting the job and putting a name on it, you will be less inclined to set yourself up for stress and emotions that prevent you from seeking help.

The next step is to understand the scope of long-term caregiving. If you don’t pace yourself, you’re going to be depleted before the job is done. Think of caregiving as a marathon, not a sprint. Marathoners get through a race by pacing themselves and getting sustenance and water along the way. A lot of people throw themselves into a “caregiving frenzy” that quickly leads to emotional and physical burnout. Understand that long-term caregiving can have long-term effects. Set your pace for a long race and accept the reality that you will need help along the way. The earlier you understand pacing and asking for help, the better you and your loved one will do.
Lastly, try to fight negative or unrealistic thinking. Your attitude can be the biggest barrier to taking care of yourself and doing the best job for your loved one. Your mind will believe what you tell it. Tell it that you’re a caregiver, that you need to stay healthy, that you have rights and that you will do the best you can but you’ll have to find help for certain things.
Source: www.AmericanHeart.org

It’s in our nature to give advice. Sometimes I am grateful for it and other times not so. Therefore, I just will use the words Caregiving Tips that are solely based on my small experiences in this great wide world called life.

Today I would like to talk about doctors and our relationship and interaction with them. Most of us have our favorite docs, nurses, hospitals et al. based on our experiences or because of friends and/or word of mouth. Word of mouth is a powerful tool we have to network. If we like or dislike something or someone, word of mouth can break or make any company or individual.
Today’s Tip – Be not afraid of doctors and the health care system. Your doctors are part of your caregiving team. You are also part of this team. This team is formed exclusively for the wellbeing of our loved one who is the captain of this team. I know it is overwhelming to say the least. As a caregiver and/or family member helping, it is (for me) one of the most important aspects of caregiving and personal sanity. Technology, in this case, is one of the most powerful tools you can have. From email to cell phones, this way of communication is a must for me. The majority of this new generation of doctors appreciates this form of communicating with family members and patients.

The email and cell phone was my lifeline with all the doctors (4 heart specialists) at UVA. UVA hospital promotes and encourages their doctors to communicate with their patients and families this way. If you go online, you will see all the doctors, their bio and email address. It was great and refreshing to see. They volunteered their cell phone numbers and their office personnel for my needs and the needs of my husband Bo. If they were available, the returned calls, text messages, or emails were immediate. If they were unavailable, their nurses and/or support staff answered. The key was that I was taken care of and never had to wait for answers.
It was something new for me and it showed me if these doctors could do it this way all doctors can communicate in this way or a similar manner. I commented to them on my surprise to their availability and the four of them had the same answer – It is important to the wellbeing of the patient’s healing process and it is easier on them in the end and less phone calls.

We just need to ask our providers and find a way to communicate that will work for our specific needs. Believe me when I say that the stress level is reduced tremendously when you’re able to have a conversation with the doctor without having to go through office, nurses, telephone messages and more messages before someone returns your call and by then the stress gage is almost full and sometimes it passed the full stage.

I would like some feedback on dates and times to start our Caregivers Support Group. Please email or call me. I would like to start this as quickly as possible. Our first meeting will be focused on getting to know each other and decisions on when to meet and for how long. – Let me know your wishes. This is for you.

Remember, it is all about relationships. Until next time and remember caregiving is the art of giving. You can email me at thais@swva.net, call me at 593.2169, or write to Caregivers Society, 1257 Moles Road, Willis, VA 24380. Share with me. Your privacy will b